Selfless

I had an experience this weekend that was in fact very similar to many other experiences I have had in my walk with God, this one however made the point like no other one had done. There had been a lot of talking lately about my grandfather and his new wife. This is a fairly sore subject still, and I was upset. In order to shake the offense and enjoy the rest of my night, I decided to go into the other room and pray...little did I know that God would show up the way that He did.

As I sat there writing in my journal God decided to interrupt my hurt and confusion with one word. Selfless...I realized, that if I was going to be OK, I had to stop thinking about what this whole thing had done to me and forgive to the point that I could be happy to let him be happy. I had to get to the point where I had to be OK if my grandfathers new wife was not only saved, but happy, and prosperous. This does not mean that I have to pretend that everything is fine and dandy, but it does mean that I have to forgive.

Then God decided to keep going with this whole "selfless" theme...I had to not only get to the point where I was OK, but I had to get to the point where it was no longer about me being ok, in fact it wasnt about me, or what I wanted or liked at all. I know that Jesus loves me beyond anything that I could ever realize, and in that knowledge I have to be ok with it being all about Him. In our sociaty today, we often talk abuot how much God loves us and wants us to prosper, and so on and so on...but we have forgotten that HE IS GOD. As such, He has the right to have everything be about Him. It is not about what we want, it is about what we can do for Him and for His kingdom. However, when we really truly begin to love him, then what we want becomes about spreading His kingdom and doing whatever He has asked us to do.